Founded in 1999 on the heels of the Satanic “panic” and growing steadily ever since, *InfoWars* has distinguished itself as an invaluable tool for brainwashing and controlling the masses. With a shrewd mix of delusional paranoia and dubious anti-aging nutrition hacks, they strive to make life both scarier and longer for everyone, a commendable goal. They are a true unicorn, capable of simultaneously inspiring public support for billionaires and stoking outrage at an inept federal state that can assassinate JFK but can’t even put a man on the Moon.
The Onion Staff in Here’s Why I Decided to Buy ‘InfoWars’