I lead teams at the intersection of strategy and design. Autodidact. Polymath. Barbecue acolyte. I start fires (the good kind).
By trying to be our kids “buddies” and shying away from holding the line in the sand, too often we let the little things slide. And that means we pass up lots of small but precious opportunities to teach good old-fashioned respect, citizenship and manners.
Yes! It’s critical that we raise our children to know what is right and act accordingly, whether or not they are being observed.
We have a little tradition in the Jones house most night before bath time, that I truly love. We load up YouTube on the TV and watch half an hour or so of videos created by Playing for Change, an organization focused on connecting the world through music. The videos are amazingly well produced, linking artists from around the world in a single song. The quality shines through, but so does the passion and joy of every musician involved. The series isn’t made for children, but it exposes them to so many different people, songs, cultures and instruments, that it is a great vehicle to broaden their world.
There are so many videos that I could recommend, but here’s the first one we watched, which got us hooked:
Humans are capable of so many fine acts and I am so happy to have found this one. If you like the video as much as I do, check out their YouTube page. If you’re like me, you’ll watch video after video after video.
I’ll get you started with a couple of others that we love.
it’s really uncomfortable to see a strong, child-like character get tarted up and flash bedroom eyes at you, but it’s equally sucky to rely on a giant corporation to teach your kids what strong women look like. Strong women look like Amelia Earhart, Rosie the Riveter, Asmaa Mahfouz, or Elizabeth Smart. Or Wonder Woman, or Sally Ride or Sojourner Truth, or Amy Poehler, or Ada Lovelace, or Anne Frank. Or your grandmother.
Two uncomfortable truths: New Merida looks a little whorey. Fewer people care about this than you would think. is worth a quick read and provides some great perspective on the redesign of Merida from Disney’s film Brave. This is spot on. Parents need to teach their kids about strong women and role models of both genders. Relying on hollywood, or any company to do so, diminishes our roles as parents and skews our kids.
It is a failure.
I do not want my son to grow up thinking that a strong female role model was “improved” by making her a bit sexier. I don’t want to see his respect for his fellow humans casually eroded, before he’s even had a chance to learn how amazing each of us are.
The rarest person of all is the parent who I’ve witnessed talking to their child about what they are seeing. And although I can count these people on a single hand, it never fails to restore my faith that humanity will carry on empathy where it needs to: That there will always be the shining role model of a parent who, instead of staring, or shush-ing, or walking away quickly, will bend down to the curious child and make a decent attempt at answering the difficult questions with a kind air about them.
“She’s got a very special chair because she can’t walk. See, it’s pink, just like your shoes. Can you say hi?”
Love Without Shame by Anton Peck
As a father of a fifteen month old, I worry about so many things, my son’s safety and health being at the top of the list. We’re lucky – our little guy is hearty and curious about the world around him. He’s developing well, and my deepest fear is that I will fail to do everything I can to help him be the absolute best human he can be. I know some things will be out of my control, but many opportunities will be in my hands.
I don’t bear the weight that Anton and his family do. I don’t know how I would carry that. I do know that I have the most immense respect for he and his wife, as well as every parent in a similar situation.
As my son grows older and experiences more of our world, I won’t shy away from explaining it and I will do my damnedest to ensure that he treats each person, no matter their situation, with the respect, friendliness and humanity that they all deserve.
I will do my absolute best to teach him to look deeper.
If you haven’t read Love Without Shame yet, please do. I hope it has the impact on you, that it has for me.